Marketing Monday Written by Jon for February 16th

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm grumpy about TikTok.

If you've been on this email list for any length of time, you've undoubtedly heard me say things like:

• "I don't like TikTok."
• "TikTok has its uses, I guess, but overall it is lame."
• "If I had to choose between posting on TikTok or consuming a three-pound, grape-flavored gummy bear each day, I'd pick the bear so freaking fast, like I wouldn't even have to think about it for a second, just bam, sign me up for the bear."
• "TikTok is the worst thing since jean shorts."

These sorts of sentiments appear with regularity in my newsletters and in my head. So it probably came as a shock to a few people to discover that last week, apparently, I started a TikTok.

Check it out.

Yeah, I have not changed my stance. I would still pick the bear so freaking fast. All of this is to say that, while that clearly is my picture, the profile is not me.

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Turns out someone's impersonating me on TikTok.

They're doing a pretty good job, too.

"Watch my video and discover how you can promoter your Spotify Sundcloud organially" suggests the caption of the channel's single post. The post itself is a screen-recorded compilation of some of my old YouTube videos, picked seemingly at random and soundtracked by audio titled "Camouflage Day Mediation," the lyrics of which are as follows:

And then the audio cuts off.

As it so happens, this is exactly the same meditation that I repeat into the mirror every time I brush my teeth. It's hard to articulate the words above the whirring of my electric toothbrush and through the minty foam of my Colgate, but I've found it's a good way to make sure I brush for more than five seconds while simultaneously transcending the arbitrary limits in which society has tried to keep me confined.

Clearly, this impersonator is someone who knows my hygienic routine down to the mantra. This leads me to believe that it's either my dog or my wife. I plan to interrogate both of them later today.

In the meantime, if this account reaches out to you telling you to pay them for a million plays on Sundcloud, say no.

– Jon

Jon Anderson Founder @ Two Story Media Surprisingly Good @ Super Smash Bros on N64

🫆 100% Human Guarantee I wrote this, not AI. Today's random photo: I just bought this mic from Warm Audio. I'm embarrassed to admit that I needed to ask ChatGPT which side of the mic I was supposed to sing into, but I'm proud to report that my first guess was right.

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